Being a Funeral Celebrant

Vasudev

Last year I was a celebrant for a funeral. Someone contacted Bristol Buddhist Centre because his uncle Vasudev, a Buddhist in the Goenka tradition, had died suddenly, and they wanted a Buddhist ceremony for him, at a crematorium. I agreed to do it with some trepidation as I didn’t really know much about what was involved. But having started the Tara Sanctuary project it made sense to take this step. I got detailed advice from an old friend, Annie, who has lots of experience as a humanist celebrant. She said useful things like ’when it comes to the committal it’s you who has to press the button..!’ I didn’t actually know what the ’committal’ was! (It’s the bit when the coffin disappears down into the floor or away behind the curtains.)

It was somewhat nerve-wracking, as I know, from my own experience how much it all matters, how important it is when we’ve lost someone dear to us that the ceremony feels meaningful and a proper honouring of that person. Though as soon as I met the family to learn about Vasudev and plan the ceremony it all felt a lot easier, as we instantly got on well. Deciding what to include was a good and easy process. The ceremony went smoothly and I felt deeply moved by it all. The family were hugely appreciative and it was a strong reminder of why I want to help bring the Tara Sanctuary into being: we are so vulnerable when in grief, and so needing of care, sensitivity and support. That vulnerability opens us up, we’re more in touch with what really matters and more open to connecting with others from a deeper place in ourselves. So it’s a time when it’s really possible to make a big difference – by helping create the conditions for beautiful and meaningful ceremonies, for people to feel really supported, and for deep connection – with ourselves, other people, and with the land.

Blessings to Vasudev and family.

Dayajoti